Last week was my birthday. Because 40 years of my life I lived outside the EEUU you can imagine that the majority of the phone calls and presents came from abroad.
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Nevertheless I received two greeting cards sent by Floridian that made me think a lot, specially of this High Holiday Season.
Nevertheless I received two greeting cards sent by Floridian that made me think a lot, specially of this High Holiday Season.
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In one was written "Its time to awake fulfill your fantasies".
In one was written "Its time to awake fulfill your fantasies".
Ok I will tell you my fantasies…….
You really thought I will share with you my fantasies!!!!.
Ok I will tell you one rabbinical fantasy
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Ok I will tell you one rabbinical fantasy
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I have this dream, me l stand up one year when it’s time to give my Rosh Hashanah sermon, and I say, “Ladies and Gentlemen, as you know today is Rosh Hashanah. It’s a time of self-reflection and a season when we must give a spiritual accounting of our lives before God. So instead of giving a sermon this year I’d like you to spend the next twenty minutes silently thinking about your life and your obligations to your community your family and yourself.” And then I’d sit down and spend the next twenty minutes in silent reflection. This is my dream, but the second part of the fantasy is that because Im not fulfilling with one of my obligations which is to preach on Rosh Hashana I’d probably be looking for a new congregation the next day…So I will not follow my fantasy this year.
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The second greeting card I received said "Enjoy life you are a rabbi but you are still a baby boomer". My first reaction was "Oy a Broch what is a baby boomer"?? It’s a blessing or a curse. My English Teacher never explained this expression to me.
The second greeting card I received said "Enjoy life you are a rabbi but you are still a baby boomer". My first reaction was "Oy a Broch what is a baby boomer"?? It’s a blessing or a curse. My English Teacher never explained this expression to me.
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So I went to the Internet and I found what a baby boomer is:
So I went to the Internet and I found what a baby boomer is:
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"United States experience an “explosion” of births after American soldiers returned home from World war II".
"United States experience an “explosion” of births after American soldiers returned home from World war II".
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So, sociologist define those born between 1946 and 1964 as "baby boomers". That means that people en the range 41 and 59 enter in that category (how many of you fall under this category 41 y 59??).
So, sociologist define those born between 1946 and 1964 as "baby boomers". That means that people en the range 41 and 59 enter in that category (how many of you fall under this category 41 y 59??).
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Conclusion If I was born in 1962 I am a baby boomer and I am suppose to be entering the so call mid- life crises.
Conclusion If I was born in 1962 I am a baby boomer and I am suppose to be entering the so call mid- life crises.
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I need to confess like many of you there really isn’t a lot of time in our family life, for my mid-life crises. Worse than that we do not have as human beings much time on this earth.
I need to confess like many of you there really isn’t a lot of time in our family life, for my mid-life crises. Worse than that we do not have as human beings much time on this earth.
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Baby-boomers begin to feel the real crises in life. A lot of divorces in the family, in our friends families new young widows, new widowers, our parents need us much more than before, our children believe they need us less than before. The empty nest syndrome children leaving home for college or university .
Baby-boomers begin to feel the real crises in life. A lot of divorces in the family, in our friends families new young widows, new widowers, our parents need us much more than before, our children believe they need us less than before. The empty nest syndrome children leaving home for college or university .
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Mum and dad are no longer needed in the same way they once were, our parents start to die.
Mum and dad are no longer needed in the same way they once were, our parents start to die.
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Rabbi Schulweis says that when our children leave home and our parents pass on we became PSYCHOLOGICAL UNEMPLOYED. And we need to react to the new reality of getting older.
Rabbi Schulweis says that when our children leave home and our parents pass on we became PSYCHOLOGICAL UNEMPLOYED. And we need to react to the new reality of getting older.
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There are three ways that we humans have been trying to deal with these crisis, which is, of course, the realization that life is short and the Machzor, the prayer book we use this days is so clear...Adam Iesodo meafar vesofolaafar.
There are three ways that we humans have been trying to deal with these crisis, which is, of course, the realization that life is short and the Machzor, the prayer book we use this days is so clear...Adam Iesodo meafar vesofolaafar.
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a) The first is a physical kind of response
b) The second is a spiritual search
c) The third is what I would call, the Jewish way.
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So what do I mean by a physical response?
a) The first is a physical kind of response
b) The second is a spiritual search
c) The third is what I would call, the Jewish way.
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So what do I mean by a physical response?
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We humans try to master the physical. We are a generation of technocrats, computer buffs, and world travelers. We defy gravity with air travel, we defy illness with medicine, we defy distance with e-mail, we defy time with multi-tasking, we defy moodiness with medication, and we defy aging with plastic surgery and with exercise.
We humans try to master the physical. We are a generation of technocrats, computer buffs, and world travelers. We defy gravity with air travel, we defy illness with medicine, we defy distance with e-mail, we defy time with multi-tasking, we defy moodiness with medication, and we defy aging with plastic surgery and with exercise.
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Believe me in eighteen years in the rabbinate I have never visited so many people in hospitals who suffered exercise and sport related injury as I do now.
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In my fathers generations the injury were work related injuries.
In my fathers generations the injury were work related injuries.
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People want to live longer healthier lives so they exercise, which is really great, the problem is that in many cases you don’t exercise to live you live to exercise and your body becomes your temple and your soul gets dryer and dryer.
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But, of course, sooner or later, we come to conclusion that no matter how hard we exercise, our bodies at some point let us know that they can’t do what they once could do.
But, of course, sooner or later, we come to conclusion that no matter how hard we exercise, our bodies at some point let us know that they can’t do what they once could do.
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So some of us will turn to "spirituality" and try to manage the feeling of emptiness.
So some of us will turn to "spirituality" and try to manage the feeling of emptiness.
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Do you know which are the two fastest growing spiritual trends in this country?
Do you know which are the two fastest growing spiritual trends in this country?
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The one is participation in the Evangelical/Fundamentalist churches and the other is the growth of the "unchurched", those, who "aren’t into organized religion but consider themselves spiritual."
The one is participation in the Evangelical/Fundamentalist churches and the other is the growth of the "unchurched", those, who "aren’t into organized religion but consider themselves spiritual."
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The fundamentalists are easier to explain, and by the way, fundamentalism exists in Judaism as well. Let me make a parenthesis in the sermon and give a statement that must be made: When the Sephardic head rabbi of Israel Ovadia Iosef express to his followers that G-od sent Katrina as a punishment to President Bush for pushing Israel to abandon Katif I react with laughter But when he said that the people who are dying and suffering are Black because they never got in touch with the Torah I felt two things:
The fundamentalists are easier to explain, and by the way, fundamentalism exists in Judaism as well. Let me make a parenthesis in the sermon and give a statement that must be made: When the Sephardic head rabbi of Israel Ovadia Iosef express to his followers that G-od sent Katrina as a punishment to President Bush for pushing Israel to abandon Katif I react with laughter But when he said that the people who are dying and suffering are Black because they never got in touch with the Torah I felt two things:
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That My Heart was black; that I belonged to the people of New Orleans who were trying to find their kids thrown in the water I was much closer to them than to the rabbis circle.
That My Heart was black; that I belonged to the people of New Orleans who were trying to find their kids thrown in the water I was much closer to them than to the rabbis circle.
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And about the Rabbi who puts Tefilin every day, eats only strictly Kosher and, prays 3 times a day he forgot that God Exists.
And about the Rabbi who puts Tefilin every day, eats only strictly Kosher and, prays 3 times a day he forgot that God Exists.
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Fundamentalism supplies a temporary fix for Baby-boomer angst.
Fundamentalism supplies a temporary fix for Baby-boomer angst.
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They offer Clear black and white answers.
They offer Clear black and white answers.
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1. Are you afraid of dying? Don’t be, this is exactly what happens after you die,tatatatatatatata.
1. Are you afraid of dying? Don’t be, this is exactly what happens after you die,tatatatatatatata.
2. Trouble in your marriage? Is she going to the Mikve. Is she lighting candles in Shabbes? Try this, and then try that, and then the problem will go away.
3. Kids being difficult? No problem, just follow these directions from this sacred text;
4. Next question please…..
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I have a friend who’s brother feel attracted to an extreme religious Jewish group and started to join them.
3. Kids being difficult? No problem, just follow these directions from this sacred text;
4. Next question please…..
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I have a friend who’s brother feel attracted to an extreme religious Jewish group and started to join them.
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I know both of them since elementary school
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So I asked my friend :
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"How is your brother doing?".
"I don’t know", was the answer
"You don’t know?".
"No, I don’t know".
"But you were inseparable?!".
"I love him, he loves me but I really don’t know how is he doing...".
"You don’t talk to each other?".
"Yes, we talk every day but I ask him "How are you?", his answer is "Baruch Hashem".
"How are the children?". "Toda Lashem".
"How is your wife doing?". "Baruch Hashem".
So I have a lot information about Hashem but I know nothing about my brother.
"I don’t know", was the answer
"You don’t know?".
"No, I don’t know".
"But you were inseparable?!".
"I love him, he loves me but I really don’t know how is he doing...".
"You don’t talk to each other?".
"Yes, we talk every day but I ask him "How are you?", his answer is "Baruch Hashem".
"How are the children?". "Toda Lashem".
"How is your wife doing?". "Baruch Hashem".
So I have a lot information about Hashem but I know nothing about my brother.
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The fundamentalist in each religion decided to follow a system who finds answers to everything and if you believe, life is straight forward and simple.
The fundamentalist in each religion decided to follow a system who finds answers to everything and if you believe, life is straight forward and simple.
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Of course, the answers are simplistic and they don’t work, but the believer believes that if the answers don’t work, the problem is not in the silly superficial answers but a weakness in their faith.
Of course, the answers are simplistic and they don’t work, but the believer believes that if the answers don’t work, the problem is not in the silly superficial answers but a weakness in their faith.
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So they try harder to believe correctly and they let the tradition off the hook. It keeps them busy for awhile, so they don’t have to think about things, and there they are. So now you can understand the psychological phenomenon your friends in the fifties sixties who follow a rabbi who comes in town three times a year he sells blessings and miracles and miracle always happened the rabbi came to Miami with his pockets empty and the rabbi leave Miami with his pockets full. A miracle.
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The unchurched, on the other hand, and I’m sure you have acquaintances who belong to this group are harder to define because they are all over the place in their ideas and traditions.
The unchurched, on the other hand, and I’m sure you have acquaintances who belong to this group are harder to define because they are all over the place in their ideas and traditions.
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So anyway, the unchurched, but spiritual, try on all kinds of different traditions to see what fits, to help them answer some of the toughest questions of life.
So anyway, the unchurched, but spiritual, try on all kinds of different traditions to see what fits, to help them answer some of the toughest questions of life.
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"Why am I here, what’s the meaning of life?".
"Why am I here, what’s the meaning of life?".
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The problem, of course, with the unchurched is that they have no community to help support them in their faith, it is so individualistic, that even when they find something satisfying, it is impossible for them to teach it to others, like their children, Because they are looking for their own personal enlightenment; they become the arbiters of what is right and wrong for them.
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c) And now the third way what I call the "Jewish" one.
c) And now the third way what I call the "Jewish" one.
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Judaism is a tradition which stresses acts more than faith. That’s why Rosh Hashanah is an invitation to sign a contract with life more than to sign a contract with faith.
Judaism is a tradition which stresses acts more than faith. That’s why Rosh Hashanah is an invitation to sign a contract with life more than to sign a contract with faith.
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So this year the Jewish way to me means to sign new agreements.
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There are thousands of agreements you have made through the years. With family ,with God, with society, with your parents, with your spouse, with your children.
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But the most important agreements are the ones you made with yourself.
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In these agreements you tell yourself who you are, what you feel, what you believe, and how to behave. The result is what you call your personality.
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In these agreements you say, "This is what I am. This is what I believe. I can do certain things, and some things I cannot do. This is reality, that is dream; this is possible, that is impossible.”
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Lets start to internalize part of our new agreements for this new year.
So this year the Jewish way to me means to sign new agreements.
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There are thousands of agreements you have made through the years. With family ,with God, with society, with your parents, with your spouse, with your children.
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But the most important agreements are the ones you made with yourself.
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In these agreements you tell yourself who you are, what you feel, what you believe, and how to behave. The result is what you call your personality.
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In these agreements you say, "This is what I am. This is what I believe. I can do certain things, and some things I cannot do. This is reality, that is dream; this is possible, that is impossible.”
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Lets start to internalize part of our new agreements for this new year.
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FIRST: Don’t allow a mistake to ruin your entire life.
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There is no one sitting here who hasn’t made a mistake. The big question is: "How do we deal with mistakes". How many times do we pay for one mistake?.
FIRST: Don’t allow a mistake to ruin your entire life.
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There is no one sitting here who hasn’t made a mistake. The big question is: "How do we deal with mistakes". How many times do we pay for one mistake?.
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The answer is hundred of times. The human is the only animal on earth that pays a thousand times for the same mistake. The rest of the animals pay only once. But not us.
The answer is hundred of times. The human is the only animal on earth that pays a thousand times for the same mistake. The rest of the animals pay only once. But not us.
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We have a powerful memory. We make a mistake, we judge ourselves. We try to repair it and it should be enough. But every time we remember, we judge ourselves again, we feel guilty again, and we punish ourselves again, and again, and again. But the issue doesn’t end here...
We have a powerful memory. We make a mistake, we judge ourselves. We try to repair it and it should be enough. But every time we remember, we judge ourselves again, we feel guilty again, and we punish ourselves again, and again, and again. But the issue doesn’t end here...
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How many times do we make our spouse, our children, or our parents pay for the same mistake? Every time we remember the mistake be blame them again and send them all the emotional poison we feel, and then we make them pay again for the same mistake.
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Humans punish themselves endlessly for not being what they believe they should be.
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So the first agreement I invite you to sign this year is not to allow a mistake to ruin your entire live.
Humans punish themselves endlessly for not being what they believe they should be.
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So the first agreement I invite you to sign this year is not to allow a mistake to ruin your entire live.
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SECOND: Be Clear with your words.
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Be clear with your words; a YES must be a YES and a NO must be a NO who understands Spanish here??(SI COMO NO).
SECOND: Be Clear with your words.
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Be clear with your words; a YES must be a YES and a NO must be a NO who understands Spanish here??(SI COMO NO).
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Wherever you go you will find people lying to you, and as your awareness grows, you will notice that you also lie to yourself. Do not expect people always to tell you the truth.
Wherever you go you will find people lying to you, and as your awareness grows, you will notice that you also lie to yourself. Do not expect people always to tell you the truth.
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You know why?? Because they also lie to themselves.
You know why?? Because they also lie to themselves.
You have to trust and choose to believe those who are worth it
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So the second agreement I invite you to sign is not only NOT TO LIE but not to lie to yourself .
So the second agreement I invite you to sign is not only NOT TO LIE but not to lie to yourself .
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"Be clear with your words" includes "Don’t hurt people with your words".
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"Be clear with your words" includes "Don’t hurt people with your words".
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A real example:
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There was a woman, who was intelligent and had a very good heart. She had a daughter whom she adored and loved very much. One night she came home from a very bad day at work, tired, full of emotional tension, and with a terrible headache. She wanted peace and quiet, but her daughter was singing and jumping happily. The daughter was unaware of how her mother was feeling; she was in her own world, in her own dream. She felt so wonderful, and she was jumping and singing louder and louder, expressing her joy and her love. She was singing so loud that it made her mother’s headache even worse, and at a certain moment, the mother lost control. Angrily she looked at her beautiful little girl and said, “Shut up! You have an ugly voice. Can you just shut up!”.
There was a woman, who was intelligent and had a very good heart. She had a daughter whom she adored and loved very much. One night she came home from a very bad day at work, tired, full of emotional tension, and with a terrible headache. She wanted peace and quiet, but her daughter was singing and jumping happily. The daughter was unaware of how her mother was feeling; she was in her own world, in her own dream. She felt so wonderful, and she was jumping and singing louder and louder, expressing her joy and her love. She was singing so loud that it made her mother’s headache even worse, and at a certain moment, the mother lost control. Angrily she looked at her beautiful little girl and said, “Shut up! You have an ugly voice. Can you just shut up!”.
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The truth is that the mother’s tolerance for any noise was nonexistent; it was not that the little girl’s voice was ugly. But the daughter believed what her mother said, and in that moment she made an agreement with herself. After that she no longer sang, because she believed her voice was ugly and would bother anyone who heard it. She became shy at school, and if she was asked to sing, she refused. Even speaking to others became difficult for her. Everything changed in the little girl because of this new agreement: She believed she must repress her emotions in order o be accepted and loved.
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How many times do we do this with our own children? We give them these types of opinions and our children carry that for years and years.
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THIRD AGREEMENT: Don’t take anything personally
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Its not easy but it’s a way to protect your psyche; nothing others do is because of you.
The truth is that the mother’s tolerance for any noise was nonexistent; it was not that the little girl’s voice was ugly. But the daughter believed what her mother said, and in that moment she made an agreement with herself. After that she no longer sang, because she believed her voice was ugly and would bother anyone who heard it. She became shy at school, and if she was asked to sing, she refused. Even speaking to others became difficult for her. Everything changed in the little girl because of this new agreement: She believed she must repress her emotions in order o be accepted and loved.
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How many times do we do this with our own children? We give them these types of opinions and our children carry that for years and years.
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THIRD AGREEMENT: Don’t take anything personally
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Its not easy but it’s a way to protect your psyche; nothing others do is because of you.
People you meet have a different worldview. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality.
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When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
The image of perfection that society imposes on us is the reason why we reject ourselves, it is why we don’t accept ourselves the way we are, and why we don’t accept others the way they are. There is only one thing we can use to guide our actions reactions interactions with others Our integrity
FORTH AND LAST AGREEMENT:TAKE YOUR PRESENT SERIOUSLY
I don't know how many of you have read Mitch Albom's most recent book, The Five People You Meet in Heaven. This book has been a best-seller for most of the past year. The book tells the story of a man in late middle age , who works in an amusement park and is killed in an accident there.
When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
The image of perfection that society imposes on us is the reason why we reject ourselves, it is why we don’t accept ourselves the way we are, and why we don’t accept others the way they are. There is only one thing we can use to guide our actions reactions interactions with others Our integrity
FORTH AND LAST AGREEMENT:TAKE YOUR PRESENT SERIOUSLY
I don't know how many of you have read Mitch Albom's most recent book, The Five People You Meet in Heaven. This book has been a best-seller for most of the past year. The book tells the story of a man in late middle age , who works in an amusement park and is killed in an accident there.
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In heaven, he meets five people whose lives have intersected his while he was alive, including a young girl whose death he inadvertently caused when he was in Vietnam and another young girl whose life was saved in the accident that caused his death. He learns things he never knew about how his life has affected other people. People I know who read the book some were trilled and other simply liked it, but if you ask me why the book became a Best seller the answer I will give is because it sheds a light on a very important issue for a lot of people. The book tells us something that we desperately want to be told, that our lives make sense, that there is a point to our lives.
In heaven, he meets five people whose lives have intersected his while he was alive, including a young girl whose death he inadvertently caused when he was in Vietnam and another young girl whose life was saved in the accident that caused his death. He learns things he never knew about how his life has affected other people. People I know who read the book some were trilled and other simply liked it, but if you ask me why the book became a Best seller the answer I will give is because it sheds a light on a very important issue for a lot of people. The book tells us something that we desperately want to be told, that our lives make sense, that there is a point to our lives.
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Our days are not just a random stringing together of unrelated events. We would have trouble getting up in the morning to face the new day if we didn't believe there was some purpose to our being alive, to our being the people we are rather than being somebody else. We probably would not bother taking Rosh HaShanah as seriously as we do if we thought the coming year was just going to be more of the same, changing nothing, achieving nothing.
Our days are not just a random stringing together of unrelated events. We would have trouble getting up in the morning to face the new day if we didn't believe there was some purpose to our being alive, to our being the people we are rather than being somebody else. We probably would not bother taking Rosh HaShanah as seriously as we do if we thought the coming year was just going to be more of the same, changing nothing, achieving nothing.
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My family and I arrive to Florida 4 years ago.
My family and I arrive to Florida 4 years ago.
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I run into people I had already met before. All of them worked in the real estate Bussines. Its amazing how you can find so many experts in buying and selling property in one city.
I run into people I had already met before. All of them worked in the real estate Bussines. Its amazing how you can find so many experts in buying and selling property in one city.
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As you can imagine I’m not an expert but I realized that we are experiencing a boom in Real Estate.
As you can imagine I’m not an expert but I realized that we are experiencing a boom in Real Estate.
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Un champion in real estates business made a comment to me about something very appropriate for this time of the year.
Un champion in real estates business made a comment to me about something very appropriate for this time of the year.
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You know, Rabbi, when we reach the moment of signing a contract you can expect two types of contracts. To buy the property AS IS, or Good working order AS IS: You receive the house as it is Good working order means that you can ask for an inspection and to have the expectations that everything inside will work.
You know, Rabbi, when we reach the moment of signing a contract you can expect two types of contracts. To buy the property AS IS, or Good working order AS IS: You receive the house as it is Good working order means that you can ask for an inspection and to have the expectations that everything inside will work.
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This is what Rosh Hashana proposes us: You can leave your life AS IS or Do your own inspection to try to fulfill most of your expectations.
This is what Rosh Hashana proposes us: You can leave your life AS IS or Do your own inspection to try to fulfill most of your expectations.
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The choice between AS IS and Good Working Order is only Yours
The choice between AS IS and Good Working Order is only Yours
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